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Grammy Bets 2013

by Rob Harvilla

Grammy Bets 2013


About this playlist

So the Grammys are Sunday night, a star-studded musical extravaganza that is approximately six hours long. Of course, as Americans, we've long perfected a way to make any increasingly tedious social occasion more tolerable: gamble on it. Here, we provide a few prop bets to mull over. Have fun., if not actual fun.

Odds that this is the year you finally memorize the difference between "Song of the Year" and "Record of the Year": 25/1

Odds that Chris Brown punches, oh, I don't know, maybe one of The Lumineers: 1/50

Odds anyone can tell you the difference between "Best R&B Performance" and "Best Traditional R&B Performance" without sounding kinda-sorta racist: 70:1

Odds Rick Ross is yet another person Lena Dunham is somehow close personal friends with: 3/1

Odds Carly Rae Jepsen is invited to something like this ever again: 1/2

Odds Skrillex wishes he'd thought of the album title Kisses on the Bottom: 1/5

Odds Ed Sheeran will be mistaken for Beeker from The Muppets: 3/1

Odds that anyone in the theater not in Mumford & Sons can name two of the guys in Mumford & Sons: 1/700

Odds Gotye's name is correctly pronounced onstage, or that you'd even notice if it wasn't: 1/50

Odds that Jack White shows up wearing a disdainful-fancy-lad outfit seemingly stolen from a Kubrick film that thankfully was never made: 1/100.

Odds that Katy Perry is even as we speak concocting insanely complicated schemes to flout the dress code: 1/15

Odds that Adele gets a standing ovation, because if it weren't for her 85 percent of people in the music industry wouldn't currently have jobs: 2/1

Odds Frank Ocean wins something major and ignites a nationwide headband craze: 5/1

Odds Bruce Springsteen and The Black Keys will profess a lot of musical respect for one another: 3:2

Odds one of them will be faking it: 1/200

Odds Taylor Swift's tumultuous love life is the butt of some hilarious onstage jokez: 5/3

Odds Gotye is invited to any after-parties: 1/250

Odds a member of fun. is mistakenly asked to park a car: 5/1

Odds Muse's sense of shame makes the "In Memorium" segment: Even

Odds that even one person in the audience will have downloaded Björk's iPhone App version of her album Biophilia: 450/1

Odds that one person will be Björk: 1/450

Odds of someone Tweeting Fiona Apple's full album title: 1,000,000/1

Odds that someone old and fusty will surprisingly beat out someone young and relevant for a big award just because that's the sort of thing the Grammys are into: 1/7,000,000

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