Hair Metal Love Songs
by Chuck Eddy | February 10, 2014
Back in the '80s and even into the early '90s, hair metal bands totally would have been your valentine, if only you'd let them! Or at least that's what's suggested by the 40 candy-heart-on-sleeve serenades on this playlist, featuring mostly sincerely crooned and frequently mascara-tear-stained ballads, though by the end lustlorn lads like Winger ("Seventeen"), Helix ("Heavy Metal Love") and Twisted Sister (uh, "Love Is for Suckers") up the tempo somewhat. Well OK, it's admittedly not always easy to determine which glam slams and Sunset Strip groupie gropes count as "love songs," but anything with "love" in the title was pretty much given the benefit of the doubt. And if it's not absolutely clear whether, say, L.A. Guns were personally in love, per sé, with Jayne of "Ballad of Jayne" fame -- ditto Enuff Z'Nuff with Michelle of "Fly High Michelle" fame or Night Ranger with Sister Christian -- it seems only fair to assume they were.
Big romantic girly-men-on-campus Poison, Warrant, Bon Jovi, Extreme, Guns N' Roses, Cinderella, Mötley Crüe and, er, Firehouse (whoever they were) get two selections apiece, as do queens of the neighborhood Vixen; everybody else gets one. Fun facts you might never have noticed before: Poison's "I Won't Forget You" has almost the exact same title as Skid Row's "I Remember You," but the Scorpions' "No One Like You" is the exact opposite of Bang Tango's "Someone Like You"! Still, they are all about YOU. So please swoon accordingly.