Songs About Candy
by Raymond Cummings | October 25, 2014
Every year, when Halloween rolls around, talk turns to costumes, decorations and parties; nobody talks about candy until the Batman mask is up on the shelf and the trick-or-treaters are taking inventory, making trades. But the fact of the matter is that candy is awesome -- a fully legal wonder drug with tastebud-flattering side benefits. The right candy will light up your November; the wrong candy will be waiting by the curb with the garbage on trash day. Save your teeth (and save on dentist bills) by noshing on this playlist instead.
Suzanne Vega's "Caramel" is as smooth and sultry as its namesake, while Keith Sweat's softcore ode to "Butterscotch" isn't necessarily what a fifth grader has in mind while eagerly emancipating an opaque golden Brach's disk. If on "I Enjoy Being a Boy," avuncular punk poppers The Queers go all widescreen Candyland on us, electroclash queen Peaches effectively dissuades anyone with a sweet tooth from ever tasting the rainbow again with "Diddle My Skittle."
Elsewhere, 69 Boyz' "Tootsie Roll" remains as insufferably ubiquitous as the cheap treat it's named after. Northwest alt rock supergroup The Halo Benders and party king Sammy Hagar display vastly different approaches to enshrining "rock candy" in song: the former with mashed-note brio, the latter with characteristic bombast. 10,000 Maniacs smartly equate molar rot with cultural debauchery, while Hilary York equates heartbreak with a busted Cadbury egg. Bow Wow Wow, of course, put all the other comers to shame with the pure, puerile intensity of the hit single that enshrined them in memory.