In the immortal words of Olivia Newton-John, have you never been mellow? Have you never tried to find a comfort from inside you? Have you never been happy just to hear your song? Have you never let someone else be strong?
For this installment of Senior Year, I constructed the ultimate soundtrack to an imaginary high school, one swimming in soft-rock fantasy. The lush and spotless suburbia depicted here is not unlike Haddonfield from John Carpenter's Halloween, only there's no psychopath in a mask stabbing all the little darlings rocking high-waisted jeans and feathered hair. Speaking of bad vibes, heavy metal and punk also have no truck here. Hell, the teenagers are so smooth they don't even spin The Doobies. And you can forget about Foreigner. For them, life is smooth: Fleetwood Mac, Supertramp, Bread, Paul Simon and The Hollies (their 1970s incarnation, of course).
Now, those well versed in pop music history will notice that more than a few songs in the playlist actually predate 1977, some by as many as three years. There's good reason for this. Because life in this imaginary high school is so incredibly mellow, time actually moves slower. The light is different, too. From sun-up to sun-down, it's deliciously hazy and diffused, like the soft-focus photography favored by Penthouse back in the day.
Oh, and before I forget: all the dads are hairy and well-groomed like vintage James Brolin, and every home has a glistening white baby-grand piano in the living room.